Celia Marie Samsel
"Anger rails at an uncontrollable beast .
A hideous worm eating away at her life force.
Stealing her memories and her ability to be rational
Leaving just enough to keep her confused and frightened.
Slowly taking everything she holds dear. "
Celia is my mother-in-law and has lived with us for 3 years now. She has dementia and is no longer able to care for herself. The last few months her disease has escalated and she is losing her fight to remain herself.
One of her few pleasures now is setting in the yard while I work. She sets and listens to the birds sing and dreams about a life that is fading away
She was always a feisty,very strong willed woman... not always so easy to get along with..but very sure of herself. I miss that woman as I watch her set and stare and cry about a life she can no longer control.
I miss the wonderful Italian meals that woman could cook and the recipes she was always going to share someday and never got around to it. She never wrote them down. Family recipes her mother brought from Italy.
I even miss those in your face arguments on on how to make a bed or wash a pot. She was the original "Mrs.. Clean" and loved her self proclaimed job of "Clean Police"
Once in awhile I still catch a sparkle in her eye that's a remnant of her old self . A fleeting flash soon lost.
For awhile I resented her constant presence and the loss of my own time and freedom. Now I fear that she will soon be leaving us forever and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
What will I do with out her to care for?
Who would have thought that a woman who hated me in the beginning would become so important to me in the end.
I love her and miss her already.